Preparing to meet with a divorce lawyer

Quite rightly, people now want to use divorce lawyers in a way which is efficient, clear and gets them to the legal answers they are looking for in the most straightforward way possible.

However, they are often trying to achieve that at a time where they are suffering from upset, loss, anxiety and sometimes, trauma. 

Taking the next step towards finalising the legal matters which follow a separation is daunting, but there are things you can do to prepare for a first meeting with a divorce lawyer to make sure you get the most out of any discussions and to help to decide where you need input: -

1. Email some basic information. Most lawyers will ask simple questions which can be difficult to answer when you are put on the spot, or you are feeling anxious. Basic information you can provide includes when your relationship started; when and where you married (if married); where you are both from; your ages; names and dates of births of children; addresses; and when you think you separated. Writing a note of everything that has happened can be therapeutic and useful to refer back to.
2. Before the meeting, write down a list of what you would like to get answers to and, more importantly, your objectives. Your objectives can be based on tangible things such as having access to money to support yourself, but also principles, for example, establishing a sound co-parenting relationship.
3. Engaging a divorce lawyer is one part of the process - most divorce lawyers will recommend you engage a counsellor to work through the emotional aspects of a relationship coming to an end. This can help to build on your resilience and to process the various stages of grief. There are lots of good podcasts and resources online to help.  
4. Make a list of what you own and what your spouse or partner owns. If you want your lawyer to investigate certain financial matters before the meeting, for example, who owns a property, you should ask them. Most lawyers will have access to property registers and the register of companies online.  
5. Think about how you want to communicate with your lawyer after the meeting. Consider setting up a new email address for communicating with them only – this will make it easier to filter information and determine when you want to give these communications your attention.  
6. Rely on friends and family. There can be a feeling of guilt or shame attached to the end of a relationship.  Seeking support from those around you is crucial. Most lawyers are comfortable with you bringing a friend or family member to a meeting so long as you let them know in advance.  
7. Big picture thinking can be overwhelming at the early stages of a relationship breakdown but spend some time thinking about what you can do day to day to take your attention away from the situation. 

Our experienced divorce lawyers are here to offer the advice and reassurance you need during this challenging time. If you'd like to have a conversation, please don't hesitate to get in touch.

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