How to divorce a narcissist

In recent years, there has been increased discussion around narcissism. Some studies have suggested that social media, with "selfies" and the desire to portray the illusion of a perfect life, is fuelling a growth in narcissism.

While only a small number of people meet the threshold for the recognised mental health condition narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), many people are guilty of displaying narcissistic traits or behaviours from time to time.

Divorcing someone with strong narcissistic tendencies can be a deeply challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists are often manipulative and controlling during the relationship, and this behaviour frequently continues through the legal process.

Working with an experienced lawyer who specialises in high-conflict cases can provide much-needed support. You're not alone - having someone knowledgeable on your side can help you break the cycle of manipulation and regain control. 

Here are some key tips to keep in mind:

1. Write things down

Narcissists often attempt to "rewrite history". Keeping a detailed journal of key events can be invaluable, both for your own clarity and for legal proceedings.

2. Set clear boundaries

Disregard for boundaries is a classic trait of narcissistic behaviour. It's essential to keep communication formal and, if necessary, funnel it solely through your solicitor. This helps maintain civility and reduce unnecessary conflict.

3. Stay focussed on your goals

A narcissistic spouse may try to distract you with petty arguments or emotional manipulation. A skilled and sensitive lawyer will help you stay focussed on what truly matters and not get pulled into unhelpful drama.

4. Take care of yourself

This process can be emotionally taxing, so prioritise your mental health. Make time for rest, self care, and consider seeking therapy or counselling. Your lawyer should be able to connect you with professionals who can support your wellbeing throughout the divorce.   

Our family & divorce team understand the complexities of narcissistic behaviour and can guide you through the process with clarity and confidence. With the right support, you can move forward and reclaim your peace. If you would like to speak to a member of the team about your situation and how we can help, please get in touch.

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