As I return to work from a period of shared parental leave (just about in one piece), I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on our adoption journey as a family and how I’ve been supported in that journey by my employer, Burness Paull.

I’ve always known that I wanted to have kids. As a gay man I wasn’t quite sure what my path to parenthood would look like. After exploring our options, my husband and I decided to adopt and started the process formally in February 2020. We were approved as adopters in August 2021, and our children joined our family towards the end of 2022.

The adoption process is long, emotional, thorough and can at times feel intrusive. Therefore, it’s essential that employers understand the process and how best to support individuals going through it. Most employers will be well versed in supporting employees taking maternity or paternity leave, however employers tend to be less experienced in dealing with shared parental leave and/or adoption leave.

What does the law say?

In terms of family leave, adoptive parents have the same rights as birth parents. Adoption leave may be undertaken by single people, married couples, civil partners, and unmarried couples. Couples must elect which of them is to be "the adopter" for the purposes of taking adoption leave. Their partner or spouse may then be entitled to paternity leave and pay.

Adoptive parents can make use of the shared parental leave rules in the same way as birth parents. Shared parental leave effectively allows parents to share the statutory adoption leave and pay that is available. Parents are able to take shared parental leave at the same time as each other or separately. Statutory rates of pay for the above types of leave are the same as that for maternity leave and paternity leave and can be easily found on the relevant government website.

Single adopters (or the elected “adopter” where a couple are adopting) are entitled to paid time off for up to five adoption appointments. Employees who are adopting jointly can elect for the other parent to take up to two unpaid days off for adoption appointments. An ‘adoption appointment’ takes place after an adoption agency notifies a prospective adopter that a child is, or is expected, to be placed with them for adoption. However, there are many appointments which take place before prospective parents are notified of a placement, there is no statutory entitlement to time off for this.

Top tips

1. Be understanding and supportive. Make it clear to employees that you are there to support them, be led by them in terms of what information they want to share and what you could do to help.
2. Be as flexible as you can be before, during and after the adoption. A lot can change during the adoption process. The employee might also require time off at certain points of their process but might not want to disclose why. It is common for prospective adopters to keep their journey private until they are approved or until they have been matched with children. Employers should be understanding of this.
3. Consider not restricting employees to the statutory minimum time off for adoption appointments. Based on my own experience, the statutory allowance isn’t enough, employees effectively have to eat into their holiday entitlement. The purpose of annual leave is to allow time for employees to rest. Having gone through the adoption process myself, when you use a holiday to do something adoption related – it’s very rarely, if ever, restful.
4. Understand that children who are adopted might not necessarily be hitting the same milestones as other children. They might also have additional needs and require more support from their parents, which can then impact the employee at work.
5. Ensure that your relevant policies are not only legally compliant but also up to date, fit for purpose and reflective of the type of employer you want to be. If you provide full pay for a period if an employee is a birth parent, are you offering the same to adoptive parents? Parents effectively rushed back to work because they can’t afford to take any more leave (because it’s at the statutory rate or unpaid) will only negatively impact their family life and work life.
6. Consider an internal awareness raising session for employees about adoption. Raising awareness will improve understanding generally amongst the workforce and will hopefully allow colleagues to be more understanding and empathetic towards employees.
7. Keep in touch. During any period of family leave, keep in touch and be led by the employee in terms of what keeping in touch should look like.
8. In terms of LGBT+ adopters, employers should consider the employee’s wishes in relation to the disclosure of their sexual orientation or gender identity, and any ‘outing’ of that (including when dealing with requests for family leave) may amount to discrimination or harassment. Family leave policies (and indeed all policies) should be LGBT+ inclusive and gender neutral, including by recognising families with LGBT+ parents.

Becoming a parent has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But that’s not to say it’s not without its challenges (and there have been many). Being a parent is hard – employees don’t need managers making it harder. An employer who gets this right will ultimately improve their recruitment and retention. If a manager/employer shows an interest in their employees, recognises that they have a life outside of work, and supports them in that, they will reap the rewards in the longer term.

If you have any questions about family leave and supporting employees taking such leave, get in touch with a member of our employment team.

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